The Diverting History of John Gilpin — Story, Setting & Ideas

She had a frugal mind.

The morning came, the chaise was brought But yet was not allow'd To drive up to the door, lest all Should say that she was proud.

So three doors off the chaise was stay'd, Where they did all get in; Six precious souls, and all agog To dash through thick and thin.

Smack went the whip, round went the wheels, Were never folks so glad; The stones did rattle underneath, As if Cheapside were mad.

John Gilpin at his horse's side Seized last the flowing mane, And up he got in haste to ride, But soon came down again;

For saddle-tree scarce reach'd had he, His journey to begin, When, turning round his head, he saw Three customers come in.

So down he came; for loss of time, Although it grieved him sore, Yet loss of pence, full well he knew, Would trouble him much more.

'Twas long before the customers Were suited to their mind, When Betty, screaming, came down stairs, "The wine is left behind!"

Good lack! quoth he, yet bring it me, My leathern belt likewise, In which I bear my trusty sword, When I do exercise.

Now Mrs. Gilpin (careful soul!) Had two stone bottles found, To hold the liquor that she loved, And keep it safe and sound.

Each bottle had a curling ear, Through which the belt he drew, And hung a bottle on each side, To make his balance true.

Then, over all, that he might be Equipp'd from top to toe, His long red cloak well brush'd and neat, He manfully did throw.

Now see him mounted once again Upon his nimble steed, Full slowly pacing o'er the stones, With caution and good heed.

But finding soon another road Beneath his well-shod feet, The snorting boast began to trot, Which gall'd him in his seat.

So! fair and softly! John he cried, But John he cried in vain; That trot became a gallop soon, In spite of curb and rein.

So stooping down, as needs he must Who cannot sit upright, He grasp'd the mane with both his hands, And eke with all his might.

His horse, who never in that sort Had handled been before, What thing upon his back had got Did wonder more and more.

Away went Gilpin, neck or nought! Away went hat and wig; He little dreamt, when he set out, Of running such a rig.

The wind did blow, the cloak did fly Like streamer long and gay; Till loop and button failing both, At last it flew away.

Then might all people well discern The bottles he had slung; A bottle swinging at each side, As has been said or sung.

The dogs did bark, the children scream'd, Up flew the windows all; And every soul cried out, Well done! As loud as he could bawl.

Away went Gilpin--who but he? His fame soon spread around: He carries weight! he rides a race! 'Tis for a thousand pound!

And still, as fast as he drew near, 'Twas wonderful to view, How in a trice the turnpike-men Their gates wide open threw.

And now as he went bowing down His reeking head full low, The bottles twain behind his back Were shattered at a blow.

Down ran the wine into the road, Most piteous to be seen, Which made his horse's flanks to smoke, As they had basted been.

But still he seem'd to carry weight, With leathern girdle braced: For all might see the bottle necks Still dangling at his waist.

Thus all through merry Islington These gambols he did play, Until he came unto the Wash Of Edmonton so gay;

And there he threw the wash about On both sides of the way, Just like unto a trundling mop Or a wild goose at play.

At Edmonton his loving wife From the balcony spied Her tender husband, wondering much To see how he did ride.

Stop, stop, John Gilpin!--Here's the house-- They all at once did cry; The dinner waits, and we are tired: Said Gilpin--So am I!

But yet his horse was not a whit Inclined to tarry there; For why?--his owner had a house Full ten miles off, at Ware.

So like an arrow swift he flew, Shot by an archer strong; So did he fly--which brings me to The middle of my song.

Away went Gilpin out of breath, And sore against his will, Till at his friend the calender's His horse at last stood still.

The calender, amazed to see His neighbour in such trim, Laid down his pipe, flew to the gate, And thus accosted him:

What news? what news? your tidings tell; Tell me you must and shall-- Say why bareheaded you are come, Or why you come at all?