A Defective Santa Claus — A Reader’s Guide

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In Category - Adventure Picaresque Fiction

Authors: Riley, James Whitcomb, 1849-1916, Vawter, Will, 1871-1941 [Illustrator], Relyea, C. M. (Charles M.), 1863-1932 [Illustrator] Digital Source: Project Gutenberg Gutenberg Release Year: 2006 First Publication Year: Not confirmed

Key Word: Christmas -- Poetry Target Reader: Readers of public-domain and historical texts

Book Edition: Project Gutenberg digital edition Book Language: en

Edition facts

Words 5,389

Reading time 24 min

Text sections 2

The source record for A Defective Santa Claus — A Reader’s Guide measures this digital text at 5,389 words, 24 min estimated reading time, and 2 detected text sections.

The text analysis averages about 22.8 words per sentence, while the detected sections provide another way to judge how the source is divided.

Project Gutenberg metadata also associates the work with “Christmas -- Poetry,” connecting these edition facts with the source record’s subject description.

Source: Project Gutenberg record #20181

A narrative poem in dialect, told from a child's perspective, about a Christmas Eve when Uncle Sidney visits and the family prepares for Santa Claus, with illustrations by C. M. Relyea and Will Vawter.

Editorial Edition Score 4.5/5

★★★★★ ★★★★★

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Description quality20 pts
Title & short description10 pts
Source metadata20 pts
Text length15 pts
Chapters / structure15 pts
EPUB file integrity20 pts

Total of 100 points, scaled to a 2.5-5.0 range. Editions with an empty description or a missing EPUB file are not scored.

Edition quality

File: pg20181

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Produced by Juliet Sutherland, David Garcia and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net

A Defective Santa Claus

INDIANAPOLIS THE BOBBS-MERRILL COMPANY PUBLISHERS

PRESS OF BRAUNWORTH & CO. BOOKBINDERS AND PRINTERS BROOKLYN, N. Y.

HEWITT HANSON HOWLAND

WITH HALEST CHRISTMAS GREETINGS AND FRATERNAL

_Little Boy! Halloo!--halloo! Can't you hear me calling you?-- Little Boy that used to be, Come in here and play with me._

A Defective Santa Claus

Allus when our Pa he's away Nen Uncle Sidney comes to stay At our house here--so Ma an' me An' Etty an' Lee-Bob won't be Afeard ef anything at night Might happen--like Ma says it might.

(Ef _Trip_ wuz _big_, I bet you he 'Uz best watch-dog you ever see!) An' so last winter--ist before It's go' be Chris'mus-Day,--w'y, shore Enough, Pa had to haf to go To 'tend a lawsuit--"An' the snow Ist right fer Santy Claus!" Pa said, As he clumb in old Ayersuz' sled, An' said he's sorry _he_ can't be With us that night--"'Cause," he-says-ee, "Old Santy _might_ be comin' here-- This very night of all the year

_I'_ got to be away!--so all You kids must tell him--ef he call-- He's mighty welcome, an' yer Pa He left his love with you an' Ma

An' Uncle Sid!" An' clucked, an' leant Back, laughin'--an' away they went! An' Uncle wave' his hands an' yells "Yer old horse ort to have on bells!" But Pa yell back an' laugh an' say "I 'spect when _Santy_ come this way It's time enough fer sleighbells nen!" An' holler back "Good-by!" again, An' reach out with the driver's whip An' cut behind an' drive back Trip.

An' so all day it snowed an' snowed! An' Lee-Bob he ist watched the road,

In his high-chair; an' Etty she U'd play with Uncle Sid an' me-- Like she wuz he'ppin' fetch in wood An' keepin' old fire goin' good,

Where Ma she wuz a-cookin' there An' kitchen, too, an' ever'where! An' Uncle say, "'At's ist the way Yer Ma's b'en workin', night an' day, Sence she hain't big as Etty is Er Lee-Bob in that chair o' his!" Nen Ma she'd laugh 't what Uncle said, An' smack an' smoove his old bald head An' say "Clear out the way till I Can keep that pot from b'ilin' dry!" Nen Uncle, when she's gone back to The kitchen, says, "We _ust_ to do

Some cookin' in the _ashes_.--_Say_, S'posin' we try some, thataway!" An' nen he send us to tell Ma Send two big 'taters in he saw

Pa's b'en a-keepin' 'cause they got The premiun at the Fair. An' what You think?--He rake a grea'-big hole In the hot ashes, an' he roll Them old big 'taters in the place An' rake the coals back--an' his face Ist swettin' so's he purt'-nigh swear 'Cause it's so hot! An' when they're there 'Bout time 'at we fergit 'em, he Ist rake 'em out again--an' _gee_!-- He bu'st 'em with his fist wite on A' old stove-led, while Etty's gone

To git the salt, an' butter, too-- Ist like he said she haf to do, No matter what _Ma_ say! An' so He salt an' butter 'em, an' blow

'Em cool enough fer us to eat-- An' _me_-o-_my_! they're hard to beat! An' Trip 'ud ist lay there an' pant Like he'd laugh _out loud_, but he can't. Nen Uncle fill his pipe--an' we 'Ud he'p him light it--Sis an' me,-- But mostly little Lee-Bob, 'cause "He's the best _Lighter_ ever wuz!" Like Uncle telled him wunst when Lee- Bob cried an' jerked the light from me, He wuz so mad! So Uncle pat An' pet him. (Lee-Bob's ust to that--

'Cause he's the _little_-est, you know, An' allus has b'en humored so!) Nen Uncle gits the flat-arn out, An', while he's tellin' us all 'bout

Old Chris'mus-times when _he's_ a kid, He ist cracked hickernuts, he did, Till they's a crockful, mighty nigh! An' when they're all done by an' by, He raked the red coals out again An' telled me, "Fetch that popcorn in, An' old three-leggud skillut--an' The _led_ an' all now, little man,-- An' yer old Uncle here 'ull show You how corn's popped, long years ago When me an' Santy Claus wuz boys On Pap's old place in Illinoise!--

An' your Pa, too, wuz chums, all through, With Santy!--Wisht Pa'd be here, too!" Nen Uncle sigh at Ma, an' she Pat him again, an' say to me

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The poem opens with a child narrator addressing a "Little Boy that used to be," immediately establishing a nostalgic, first-person voice. The story unfolds through the child's dialect, with phrases like "Allus when our Pa he's away" and "Nen Uncle Sidney comes to stay." The setting is a rural home on a snowy Christmas Eve, where the father has left to attend a lawsuit, leaving Uncle Sidney in charge. The child's observations are concrete and sensory: the snow, the high-chair, the kitchen bustle, and the uncle's playful cooking of potatoes in the ashes. This opening section introduces a domestic scene that is both warm and slightly anxious, as the mother worries about nighttime fears.

Dialect and Child's Voice

The poem is written entirely in a rural Midwestern dialect, as spoken by a young child. This is not merely decorative; it shapes the rhythm and authenticity of the narrative. Words like "nen" (then), "ist" (just), and "purt'-nigh" (pretty near) create a specific sonic texture. The child's voice is both naive and observant, noting details like the father's sled, the dog Trip, and the uncle's bald head. The dialect also conveys emotion: excitement about Santa, pride in helping, and a hint of fear about the dark. Riley uses this voice to filter the adult world through a child's limited but vivid understanding, making the ordinary feel magical.

Domestic Rituals and Sensory Details

The poem is rich with specific, homely activities: baking, fetching wood, keeping the fire going, and especially the uncle's trick of roasting potatoes in the hot ashes. The child describes the process in detail: "He rake a grea'-big hole / In the hot ashes, an' he roll / Them old big 'taters in the place." The sensory payoff comes when the potatoes are "bu'st" open with a fist on a stove lid, then salted and buttered. These rituals ground the poem in tangible, shared experience. The mother's laughter and the uncle's teasing about her working "night an' day" since she was small add layers of family history. The kitchen becomes a stage for warmth and cooperation, contrasting with the cold snow outside.

Absence and Anticipation

The father's absence is a central tension. He leaves in a sled, joking about Santa, but his departure creates a void. The mother's fear of "anything at night" and the uncle's role as protector are subtly woven in. The child notes that if the dog Trip were bigger, he'd be a good watchdog. The snow that falls all day isolates the family, heightening the anticipation of Santa's visit. The father's parting words—"Old Santy might be comin' here— / This very night of all the year"—frame the evening as a threshold. The poem thus balances cozy domesticity with a sense of vulnerability, making the eventual arrival of Santa (or his defective substitute) more charged.

Illustrations and Visual Structure

The book includes pictures by C. M. Relyea and Will Vawter, two illustrators whose styles likely complement the poem's rustic setting. While the excerpts do not describe the illustrations, their presence suggests a visual narrative that parallels the text. The poem's structure—a single, continuous monologue in rhyming couplets—creates a flowing, almost breathless pace, as if the child is telling the story in one excited rush. The dedication to Hewitt Hanson Howland, with "Halest Christmas Greetings," hints at a personal, occasional origin. Readers should note how the illustrations might emphasize the contrast between the cozy interior and the snowy outdoors, or highlight the uncle's playful antics.

This poem rewards attention to its dialect, which is not a barrier but a key to its warmth and humor. The child's perspective filters out adult worries, leaving only the vivid present: the taste of roasted potatoes, the sound of sleigh bells, the glow of the fire. Readers may find themselves drawn into the rhythm of the couplets, which mimic a child's eager speech. The defective Santa of the title remains a mystery from these excerpts, but the poem's strength lies in its evocation of a single, memorable Christmas Eve, complete with its small rituals and quiet anxieties.

That rainy afternoon, I kept returning to the child’s voice in A Defective Santa Claus—its warm, slightly baffled wonder at the adults’ hurried fuss. The dialect felt like a door left ajar, so I drifted toward other forgotten voices, eventually landing in Specimens with Memoirs of the Less-known British Poets, Volume 3 — Text and Context. There, the same quiet ache of overlooked lives, waiting to be remembered.